What’s the most classist thing you ever heard someone say?
(I’m not talking about someone like Tucker Carlson or your right-wing uncle. More specifically, what’s the most classist thing you ever heard a liberal or progressive person say?)
Recently I was facilitating a discussion for an organization that was trying to decide how much severance pay to give a staff person leaving because the organization couldn’t afford to keep them full-time. Someone said, “Let’s give them a huge party and show them we love them, and they’ll remember that a lot longer than any money we give them.”
—Paul Kivel
Most of the Homeowners Associations wanted in an icky way to “color up” with racial diversity. They were happy to have people of color at the table as long as they were in the minority and didn’t get to make any decisions. At one meeting, this one white homeowner was complaining about “why Latinos won’t come to our meetings” and she suggested that maybe people should bring their maids! It was too gross!
—Roxana Tynan
There was a fund-raising event that cost $50 and I heard comments about how “anyone can afford that.”
—Pam McMichael
Several times I’ve heard social welfare professionals say about poor mothers, “We have to speak for them because they can’t speak for themselves.”
—Theresa Funiciello
There was one guy I worked with, he thought he was the smartest organizer, and he would say things to me, like “Can you turn out 500 people for this meeting and then we’ll go and do the negotiations for them?” He thought of working class people as props and their voices as sound bites.
I’ve heard people patronize, tokenize and fethishize, like “Let’s hear from the welfare recipient now! Isn’t she smart?”
—Gilda Haas
A new friend said, “My neighbor wanted to put up a 15-foot fence that would block my view. He’s real redneck low-life trailer trash.” I told her I was offended by that, and we had a big argument that lasted all day.
—Betsy Leondar-Wright
I ate out with a friend — someone proud to call herself a Massachusetts liberal — and the waitress got her order wrong. My friend said, “Well, if she was smart, she wouldn’t be a waitress.”
—Jenny Levison
I heard an African-American university president say that she could not support home-based childcare for low-income families because “we have to get those little children out of those neighborhoods.”
—Kathy Modigliani
I was once part of organizing a radical book fair. It was held in a hall at a local university. At the end of the day several folks started leave, despite the fact that the hall was a complete mess. When challenged to help clean up, one of them replied “Isn’t that for the janitors to do?” Sigh.
—Matthew King
My mother is a passionate liberal Democrat. Her long-time housekeeper, a Mexican imigrant Pentacostal, voted for Bush on moral grounds. My mother says of her, “These people just don’t understand!”
—Polly Cleveland
“Of course I am going to be patronizing to workers, I’m educated.”
—Stephen Dempsey
I have heard two different feminist governing boards, when deciding how to set fees for an event, say, “Everyone can afford five dollars. If they are not willing to spend five dollars, then they don’t care enough about the event.”
—Bette Tallen
A faculty friend of mine and I use to talk about classes I taught on issues of hunger and homelessness. The faculty person, who came from working class roots, said “Those homeless people like being homeless; they choose to be that way, and they like living under the bridge”. My mouth instantly dropped!
[Name withheld]
When I was a cashier at a food co-op, I hated it when members would say, “Have a great week-end,” assuming that I had 2-day weekends off!
—Lori Wyman
An upper-class activist was complaining to me about some women from a public housing project. My acquaintance was a member of a group that was trying to form an alliance with the public housing women in order to determine the needs of the housing community that they might be able to work together on. They had the right idea of joining together to form an alliance where everyone could contribute and learn. But the upper-class woman had organized a meeting to be held in her home, and she complained when nobody from the project showed up; she thought they were irresponsible not to show up and not to call. Her home was in the fanciest part of town and, in addition, there were hardly any bus routes leading to it.
—Sally Thomas
This is an excerpt from an email promoting an annual conference of progressives. It struck me as unaware (to say the least) and went downhill from there:
“A word about pricing and payment. This year we have set the price at the bare minimum to make sure that everybody who is motivated to participate can. On the other hand, we have also decided that anybody who does not feel committed enough to pay is not committed enough to participate. The price is $100 per day and there is no free lunch (no Santa Clause either, its a tough world out there), no discounts, and workexchange by invitation only. We encourage you to sign up early as we want to make sure everyone in our community who wants to attend can, but the event is designed to sell out at this price.”
—Terry Masters
Here’s one that was said directly to me, about me. The people who said it are two long-time peace activists whom I greatly respect and have fondness for. That’s part of the reason I was so surprised to hear it from them.
As a progressive non-profit director frequently surrounded by other directors who come from more affluent means, I talk often about my background as a person who grew up in a single parent family, living in a mobile home or tiny cottage when I was a kid, and sometimes on welfare and food stamps.
When I shared this on one occasion the first response from the peace activists — I really do like them a lot still — was that they didn’t know that about me and were surprised because “I speak so well”.
As an anti-racist activist I challenge statements like that when they are said by fellow white people about people of color. When it was said to me, about me, I had nothing to say, I was just surprised.
—Bill Vandenberg
When I was about 21 years old, I worked as a live-in nanny for a wealthy white family. I was working under the table and living in their home. I was “hired” because the mother had golf tournaments to attend, and she needed childcare. That year while her husband was doing taxes on April 15th, she threw her arms up in disgust and said, “I just can’t believe it! We have to pay $50,000 to the federal government ALONE! We’ll be supporting over 500 Boston families this year!” I was astounded that 1) she felt it was okay to share this information with me so casually, and 2) that they made so much money in the first place, and 3)that she thought supporting poor families was a bad thing! I don’t know if people who are wealthy their entire lives have any clue whatsoever about poor people, or if they just don’t care how their privilege appears to other people.
—Sonia Belliveau
I wish that I could cite only one compelling example of the kind of classism that I often hear directed at the people who many of us on the left consider “rich.” I hear it all the time the blatant “blame the individual” kinds of objectification and stereotyping of wealthy people that we would never allow to be directed at poor people — the universal assignment of characteristics such as cheap, greedy, materialistic, selfish, etc. It is so insidious and common place as to hardly be noteworthy at many of the politically correct functions that I attend, and never gets questioned… It sounds like “They always…” and “They should…” and “They are…” The irony to me is always that many of the left-leaning people who regularly point the finger at those “others” and call them rich, are themselves materialistic, and would be comfortably classified in the top 5% of wealth holders in the US themselves — academics, consultants, professionals, therapists, etc. It seems a common and convenient way to release ourselves from responsibility when we project on to others, and this happens (in my world) more often when “middle-class” progressives look “up” the class spectrum than it does when they look “down.” Perhaps we need to spend more time looking “in.”
—Kristi Nelson
I was in college — an elite college where class stuff went down everyday. But one of the most classist things I ever heard was from a woman working to provide internships for college women with school alumni. I had won an internship in N. Dakota and had received a scholarship from the Dean to get airfare to go to fulfill my internship, but they wanted to issue it on a reimbursement basis. I didn’t have money or a credit card, nor the safety net of my parents. When I tried to explain this to the woman, she simply told me: Well, ask a friend if you can buy it on their credit card. I didn’t end up going, because none of my friends had credit cards with $500 limits either. I was so angry that this woman called herself a liberal working on behalf of young women’s development.
—Ana
While being detained for 37 hours for demonstrating at the Republican National Convention in NYC this past August I heard a whole category of classist comments from my fellow arrestees.
A number of these — mostly college students I supposed — entertained themselves with jibes and putdowns of police officers (sometimes within these officers’ hearing, sometimes not). The putdowns, among other ways, took the form of mimicking the police in a dumb-sounding accent.
My fellow prisoners seemed oblivious to the privilege of their lives compared to the lack of privilege of those they mocked.
—Ed Kinane
I work in a textile mill as a line operator. The company was switching from a pension plan to a 401k. The head engineer told me that ‘he did not think the guys working on the floor were smart enough to pick out investment choices’. I think, with a little education, any one can pick out a savings plan. This factory managment seems to feel providing a little education to their employees is a waste. I am leaving there and I am going to go to school to be a nurse. I can tell you that I am scared to death about how I am going to pay the bills. I hope that I never have the attitude towards hard working laborers that that engineer has.
—Christine Drew
Repeatedly, particularly after the last election: “People are so stupid.”
—Joanne Forman
Years ago when I was living in Westport, CT, a very affluent community, there was a controversial proposal to help the poor people of the region by opening a soup kitchen. A local newspaper sent a reporter around town asking people what they thought of the proposal. As expected most people were against the idea but one well-too-do woman answered: “I think that’s a great idea! I love soup!”
—Dan Bucknam
I used to work for a women’s domestic violence shelter and I was trading stories with a friend who worked in another shelter. She said the comment that pissed her off the most came from middle class white women who would come in, see the diverse clientel in the shelter, and ask “Where’s our program?” I guess the thought of hiding with someone who could be your maid was worse than getting away from your violent husband.
—Salud Garcia
Said to me, “If you grew up like that why aren’t you in prison?”
—Herb Ruhs
I’m a freelance writer and editor, happy with my creative work, but, like so many others in my field, earning just what it takes to get along.
Some years ago I spent an afternoon with my nephew from a very middle-class town on Long Island(NY) who was attending law school at the time. We were having a conversation where the topic of his extreme competitiveness came up.
As his uncle, I asked him if I could offer some advice about controlling his impulses to be better, smarter, faster, than anyone else. His behavior spanned an alarmingly wide range of subjects — from sports and games to opinions about government, religion, society, et al. I gently informed him that his competitive attitude would in the end work against him — be counterproductive — because it consistently alienated the people surrounding him — both family and friends. He was most often described as obnoxious.
His response pains me to this very day. He said, without missing a beat,
“Why should I listen to anything you say — what have you got to show for yourself?”
Of course, I could dismiss that comment as simply more obnoxious behavior. But I have been sensitive ever since to people who are dismissive of the opinions and values of those who don’t have much “to show for themselves” in the material sense.
—Mark
While I was working toward a college degree taking night courses at the University of Minnesota, I worked during the day in the Admissions Office at Macalester College, a small, private, intensely selective, and terribly expensive institution. However, people would toss at me, “Why don’t you just attend college at Macalester?”
—Kristine Harley
“I remember when that outfit used to be in style. I loved it. I gave mine to my cleaning woman.”
—Nancy Mack
I was wearing an old pair of shorts and T-shirt while shopping at the local hardware store. A clerk asked me what I needed for my trailer. My custom built home on a half acre with views currently has a market value of 240K. The clerk assumed I was poor by my clothing.
—Gary Cooper
P.S. After posting my experience I became aware that my statement has a classist element. I mentioned the fact that I’m a property owner to distinguish myself from a person who owns a trailer, as if there is a type of person who owns a trailer. The stereotypes of “trailer trash” in our society are widespread. I think I made a fool of myself when I mentioned my home ownership. I’ve looked in the mirror and don’t like what I see. Thank you for starting a dialogue on class consciousness. I am now painfully aware of my own bigotry.
“You better simplify these statements if you want them to understand” — spoken about the poor in need.
I responded, “Just because they are poor doesn’t mean they are stupid. Intelligence is much more than about their ability to earn a paycheck.”
—Deborah May
I’ve heard, and said, a lot of classist stuff, but, one of the first times I really felt it was when I was in (an elite) college. An activist said “we” were middle class women and had to find alliance with immigrant workers through the group (or something like that). I felt excluded, because I was male, but, also because I wanted to help the group out because my mother was an immigrant worker. I also kind of thought they’d be able to teach me stuff that would be relevant to my life. Lacking any self confidence, I never joined up or volunteered. I attended a few rallies for them, though.
—John
“You went to community college and state school and can’t expect to be able to speak effectively to people who attended private and graduate schools.”
—Joseph Santos-Lyons